latley life has been so unpredictable and all over the place....the people in your life who really affect your life and that matter to you..aren't always going to be constant...caring about someone on a deeper level puts you at risk of getting hurt..and not the kind of hurt where you heal right away and move on..but the kind of hurt that hits you deep down and becomes buried...showing itself from time to time and each time hitting you just as hard as if no time has passed...there are way too many risks in life..and believing in people is a huge one for me...
i tend to believe in others maybe too much...i want to see the good and hope for only good...when at times it feels foolish of me.
one thing about this is to appreciate the ones around you who ARE constant and love you despite your flaws...the ones who dont give up on you and remind you of your mistakes and insecurities..but only help you through...
my dad has been super sick for a while and at first i honeslty wasn't taking it serious..he has always just been this strong figure in my life and so i just automatically believed he would get through this and now that he has been in the hospital for days now..its really all the sudden shaken me...i know he will get through this...he has to..but that memory of being a daddy's girl always relying on him and thinking he was everything will always stay with me..i could never be able to live without him...
appreciate those you know and love...life is always going to be life..its never perfect and one day you may wish you hadn't taken for granted those who you let in your life and heart for a reason...
love,
bethany
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