Monday, June 6, 2011

in truth..

i have been really concentrating on what i want and not enough on what i have...
i talked to someone the other day and we were talking about our age and he said he stopped keeping track after 25..and i thought ya..sometimes thats how i feel...25 isnt old by any means, but its kind of that time in your life where you feel like everything kina is thrown in your face...you start really thinking about who you are and where you have been...now that i'm 26 going on 27...i kina just wish i was 24 again...that feeling doesn't really go away actually...i really would love to go back and maybe do things differently...i believe everything happens for a reason and everything but maybe there were better ways of handling situations..people are going to leave no matter what..you are going to lose contact with the people you love..and maybe i wouldn't mind delaying the inevitable...maybe there would have been ways to avoid making those mistakes that you deal with for the rest of your life that you were unaware of at the time...that would be nice huh...
bottom line is..you can't take that stuff back..or delay saying goodbye to someone you never wanted to say goodbye to...people enter your life just as quickly as they leave though..so its important to appreciate people if they mean anything to you at all...
im working on my appreciation of the love of my life right now though..my relationship with God seems like it is the most inconsistent..here lately...he gave us the choice to choose him in our own time and that is what makes it so beautiful when we do...i hate that i falter and stray sometimes but the feeling i have when i realize that he forgives and is always there no matter what..is unbelievable...he is the best friend in my life that honestly and truthfully will never leave me...and i'm daily trying my best to be that person for him back...

The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. (Psalm 145: 18-19)

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